When my son signed up for orchestra at his school a couple of years ago I learned a valuable lesson as a parent. It is a lesson that I believe that piano playing parents who have enrolled their children in piano lessons can benefit from as well. So here it is…
Violin was my son’s instrument of choice that year. He was very excited when we got home from the music store with his brand new violin. I was excited too! I had never played a violin before, but knowing that music is in the musician and not in the instrument, I decided to try playing a simple tune on it. Before my son could get in the house good, I was playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on his violin. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect technique wise, but it was recognizable. I was proud of myself for being able to demonstrate that an instrument is merely a tool in a musician’s hands much like a pen is a tool in a writer’s hands. It doesn’t matter what kind of pen the writer uses – he can still write with it. Just as I was about to pat myself on the back for my musical genius (lol), I looked up to find that my son was less than impressed. In fact, he was upset.
Why was he upset, you may ask? The violin was supposed to be HIS thing, not MY thing! He wanted to impress me with his ability to play the violin and to show me that he could do something that I could not. He didn’t say this to me, but I realized it just from looking at his response. From that moment on, I did not pick up his violin – at least not when he was home! He went on to qualify for the Honor’s Orchestra by the end of the school year and I went on being grateful that I have a healthy, happy son who is able to enjoy music all on his own!
So, what am I saying to piano playing parents? Let your children take the lead when it comes to whether or not you should play the piano with or for them. Resist the urge to show them that you can play the rest of the song that they just started learning. Give them the joy of inviting you to the piano to play along or sing along, or just listen! They will be much more cooperative because they can own their musical education. Once they feel that sense of ownership, they will be glad to share in many musical experiences with you!
When it comes to music I am a firm believer that if you can sing it, you can play it. As a singer, I am completely baffled by the fact that students attempt to learn how to play the piano without being able to sing or even hum the tune they wish to play. Equally disturbing to me is the number of students who will sing the tune, but consistently do it without regard to the correct pitch. I’ve seen this over and over again in piano lessons. When I ask a student to sing the melody of the song they are learning, they look at me with a blank stare as if to say, “You can’t be serious”. Then when they realize that I am serious, they simply ignore the request as they continue to struggle through the tune. Try as I might to convince students that I am not asking for a polished professional, melodious sound they still cringe at the thought of hearing their own voice. I’m wondering what other teachers do about this. So, the floor is now open for suggestions!
Have you ever wished you had a list of apps you’d like parents to buy for their kids to use in between lessons? Well I do this at least once a week – especially with my beginning students. So, I made a list that you can print here. I have personally used each of these apps in my studio and these are ones that my students enjoy. All of them are available in the itunes store and work for iPad, iPhone, and iPod. A few of them are specifically geared towards preschoolers, but most of them can be used and enjoyed by students of all ages. If anybody has a list of Android music apps, please share!
Imagine your student walking towards your studio, music bag in hand. She may be thinking about the super hard test she had at school today or the mountain of homework that is waiting for her to do after the piano lesson. All this can be very distracting and maybe a bit discouraging until… she makes it to your studio door and sees a welcome sign with her name on it just as she is about to enter! You can predict what will happen next – a big smile will appear on her face and she will enter the studio that much more excited about her lesson. Pictured above is the sign I put up for my students everyday during the first week of piano for the new school year. Each day I simply replaced the previous day’s names with the students for that day. OK – truth – I had my daughter do it for me! It was definitely a hit with students and parents as well. An added benefit to this sign was having all the students for the day listed. Seeing other kids’ names lets students know that they are not the only ones taking piano lessons and that they are part of a music making community. For more about building community in your studio, see my post on how to Get Parents Geared Up For A New Piano Season.
With the start of a new school year we usually focus on getting students geared up for a new piano season, but have you ever considered having a special kick off event just for parents? Part of my teaching philosophy is that the music studio should be a community of families who are committed to arts education. So, this year in addition to our normal events that involve students and their families I decided to have a Piano Parent Mtg. the week before lessons began.
This gave new and returning parents an opportunity to meet each other, ask questions, and share piano stories. I had a chance to give out helpful information for the year concerning upcoming event dates, fees, curriculum and all the things that we’d be doing in the studio this year.
We even had a chance to do some role plays about practicing at home. The parents seemed to really enjoy getting different ideas on how to handle practice issues at home.
And what would an event be without food? So of course we had refreshments. We even had door prizes for some products that were donated by local merchants as well as a drawing for FREE registration.
The evening went very well, and so far I’ve heard from more than one parent that their child was a little upset about not being invited to the meeting! What can I say, us parents deserve a little time with our friends too, right? Next year I’m going to call a Piano Parent Gathering instead of meeting.
How do you get parents geared up for the start of the new school year? I’d love to hear about it!
Majoringinmusic.com offers articles, advice, and links on choosing a music school, majoring in music, and building a successful music career. Listed in the most recent issue of American Music Teacher Magazine, a publication of the Music Teacher’s National Association, the site has a wealth of useful information that teachers can use as they help students develop the technical skills necessary for further study. There are articles for parents and students with practical real world implications of a career in music from financing your education and your life to honing your skills as well.
I might even do a studio wide project on becoming a professional musician using this site. Any ideas? Share them in a comment!
I just finished reading Journey of a Thousand Miles: My Story by Lang Lang with David Ritz. This book literally drew me in from the first to the very last page. I did not want to put it down. When I had to put it down, because life was calling, I wondered what would happen next in this great classical pianist’s story. There was not a moment of disappointment.
As I read of his struggles and the extreme sacrifices his parents made to help him master the piano and the passion he himself has for music I was inspired. Honestly, it made me want to rush to the piano and practice – sincerely practice. And that’s exactly what I did several times in between chapters.
“Hearing” Lang Lang tell his story of being a piano student in China was mind-boggling at times because it is so different from the way we do it in America. There is a different depth to the process of musical learning and commitment to the craft than what I have experienced. It makes me wonder what kind of musician I would be if I had grown up in China. Would I be happy? I’m not sure. Would I be exceptionally skillful? Maybe. Lang Lang points out some wonderful differences that Americans have culturally as well. The freedom to be yourself, to express yourself in unique ways is one thing that Lang Lang speaks of discovering once he came to America. I enjoyed reading between these two worlds through Lang Lang’s eyes.
One of my favorite quotes from the book:
“Remember, it is easy to be a pianist, all you have to do is move your fingers. But to be a great pianist you have to use your mind.”
I think this is a great read for every piano student, piano teacher, and piano parent.
One of the misconceptions about piano lessons is that they are only for girls. This amazes me since most of the very famous composers were men – hello Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Haydn, etc. Also, most of your top concert pianists and jazz pianists are what? Men. Don’t get me wrong – I know that women can hold their own at the piano. I’m a living breathing example of that! However, this myth that piano lessons are a girl thing to do is far from the truth and it has to be stopped. Listen to what one of my rising 6th grade male students has to say about piano lessons. When I heard this, it made me so proud to be a piano teacher.
Here’s a quick and fun piano exercise piano students can learn on their own! This activity shows how the diminished chord can be used to make scary background music for a movie or TV scene. Try it out! Print a copy of it here. Come back next Monday for another Summer Piano Short!
Kids & Keys 